i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
