would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
