I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
