I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
