I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
