Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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