Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
