I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
