Can Purell be used as lube?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
