I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
