Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
