What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
