if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
