He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
