you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
