What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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