im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
