do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
