every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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