Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
high people should be assigned attendants
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
