So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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