we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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