New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
