just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
