If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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