You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
