Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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