i can't believe i had my finger in that
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
