she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
