these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
