I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
