I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
