i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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