I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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