My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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