if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I need moral support for this bender
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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