Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
