i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
