doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
