Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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