get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i now understand why vodka
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
