I am spending my child support on dildos
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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