I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
