Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
