I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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