she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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