I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
