we're blogging at a bar
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
