coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
