So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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