I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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